Patience, not just an awesome name

Never in my life have I been good at being patient. I hate waiting for anything. No matter how good for me it is to wait. So now I am trying my best to acquire this virtue. It is sad that I realize now that waiting is the biggest part of patience.

I keep telling myself I have to be patient with the whole book writing process. It will never finish itself or start itself even if I can't stand the process of making it. All the time that it will take. All the times I am going to want it just to be done. I don't doubt for a second that this will be the hardest part.

I have never quite understood why I have hard time with this. I think it has to do more with wanting to know the future of something before involving too much time or energy. My experiences with dating or lack there of lately is case and point of this. I rush things so that I don't have to invest too much, but after the last one, I realized I was no longer going to do that anymore. I was going to enjoy the time with the next person. Enjoying getting to know him. Which is exactly what I need to do in all the other aspects of my life. Law school or grad school? It's just one step at a time. I have to start looking at the small things instead of just the end result. I am sure the end result is important but I have to weigh all aspects to truly figure it out.

So many things to think about...my brain might start spilling out of my ears. If that happens, just scoop it up. I am sure I will need it later. Don't let that shit go to waste. Oh man, this is going to really suck, but I am sure I will be glad I did it later. It's like quitting smoking, yeah it sucks sometimes but in the long run it will be good for me. Damn life lessons.

Love to all,

C