Saying good-bye and coming around full circle

Saturday my brother left for Houston.
When I dragged myself out of bed at
8 that morning, I was so tired I couldn't
really think of how tough the day was
actually going to be.
My mom, my dad, my other brother and
my brother's girlfriend all helped clean his
empty apartment while the movers moved
it all into the truck my brothers would drive
to Houston once it was all finished.
We finished close to 11 and started saying
good-byes. The severity hadn't yet
crossed my mind that morning.

I was fine until my mom standing next to
me, waving bye to my brother as he drove
away, said to me, "I wasn't ready for this.
For him to move away again."
That's when it finally hit me. At that moment.
I felt my eyes stinging. I knew what this meant.
But I couldn't let it happen yet.
I still had to go to Home Depot with my parents.
We then went to eat some lunch.
Then they helped me put together my "potty" for
the dog that we had purchased at Home Depot.

Once they left, it didn't take but 60 seconds for
the tears to rush to my face.
I laid on my couch for a good half an hour.
Kleenex after Kleenex.
Tear after tear.
Memory after memory.

Sure I know that some may see this as a little
much for someone who is only moving four to five
hours away from me, but that wasn't the issue.
I was crying for my support system breaking apart.
I stared at my eyelids and watched the numerous
memories of the two of us.
Him sleeping in my room for a good year when I
was in elementary school.
All the times I would need even the smallest favor.
They all played back like a slide show film.
All the images blurring with each tear that past
before them.

I told myself this was silly. He was still just a phone
call away. I could call and visit.
I got in the shower and then went to Dana's to hang
out with her and Dillan. This was the best idea, and
I was completely unaware of it.
Dillan made me so happy. Watching a two year old's
innocence and love for so many things.
She started learning my name.
She pushed my hair out of my face, which she does
to her own.
It made me glow with happiness.

One window opening after a door closes.