My life is no longer simple

Two weeks ago I made a very hard decision
and decided to hold off on grad school until Fall.
This obviously wasn't my first choice, but the
closer the semester came, I realize how
unprepared I was for my entrance exam and
how the funds were just simply not there to
pay for it (along with my other bills).
It was really difficult to try and not feel
disappointed in myself over not getting
it all in on time and not studying harder.
I have to keep my momentum up until
Fall so that it not just another pipe-dream.

On the same day as this hard decision, I had
another decision made for me. The person I
had finally told my feelings to, decided to tell
me he did not feel the same. Of course, I was
disappointed to hear this, but for some reason
had a positive outlook regardless (which is
something very new to me). I did not get
upset, I did not blame myself or him for that
matter, that things didn't work the way I wanted.

I started my part-time job and find myself in the
finishing days. I haven't jogged in these few weeks
and my body is slowly showing the signs of this.
I have a least been trying to climb numerous
flights of stairs while at work, to keep some
kind of exercise going. I have probably gained
that five pounds back that I lost a month ago,
but eagerly plan on getting back into my
normal routine once my schedule gets back
to normal.

I have been slacking severely on my writing,
and that is also showing signs of decline, but
I have at least been reading and I hope to
start painting again very soon.

My social life has taken a dip but I feel it for
the better. I enjoy myself more when I do
get to go out, and I don't stay out as late
even if I don't have to get up early.

I try and live my life without regrets, and
I feel that this past month is no different.
I have forced myself to do more than I
thought I could as far as working two jobs,
and I have managed to get over someone
I never thought I would without struggle.
I have kept my thoughts more positive,
and all my options open as far as meeting
new people and getting to know them.
I have re-kindled friendships (ironically,
and without my effort) with two of my
ex's over the past month, and I have
really enjoyed getting to know each of
them again, they have both changed a lot.

Moving fast and moving forward.
Keeping my mind clear and my heart
open. I have been praying more, which
I had kept at a minimum for a long time.
I feel stronger and I feel more happy with
myself and the decisions I have made and
will make in the next few months.

I am thankful for so many things this year
for Thanksgiving.

Be happy and well...

love to all.
C