Thursday, January 21, 2010

My 1233

I used to write only at night.
In the depth of darkness,
almost waiting for the sun to rise.
Tonight I thought I would try
this old habit again.
I have a new job on the horizon
that I am so excited about,
I haven't been this happy,
well since October.
I feel like these past few months
are a blur of living in past moments.
Ones I try to remind myself of
daily, just to keep them alive.

As I sit at my computer, listening
to sirens outside my window,
I can't imagine not living here.
I really love this apartment, and
I will be very sad to leave it in
June when our lease is up.
Mostly I will be sad because this
feels like home to me.
The home a single person on my
own can possibly have without
some kind of family or significant
other.
My dream is to have a house, and
I know as June hangs in the months
ahead, that this will not be something
I can do yet.
I long for a home of my own. To fill
with my things, and possibly someone
else's, but definitely a place I can call
home for more than 12 months.
I hate packing, and leaving a place that
I know has nothing to remember me by.
Or more importantly moving to a place
that holds no memories whatsoever.

I think of my college apartment and
all the crazy times I had there.
The crazy blue carpet.
My huge room that I had two beds in.
My ugly couch, that ironically matched
the crazy blue carpet.
My built-in bookshelves.
The living room floor that I slept on, laid
and thought about my first night,
and that I did handstands on religiously.
My balcony, where I would sit and
write at the early hours of morning.
Of all the times I would walk down
the stone stairs and imagining myself
falling and the amount of damage
that would be done.
Getting locked out of my apartment by
the one other person that had a key.
My neighbor across the hall, and how I
would read all the notes left on his door.
So many parties, so many nights alone,
and still so many happy memories.

I don't feel like I have that here.
Like I know I will be leaving and so
the memories are lost on other places.

So in light of that old place I used to live in,
here are the words I found two years ago
to write about it.

"1233"
The gold sign on the blue door read "1233", my rented home for the next eight months. Inside held comfort and solitude. It was exactly what I needed.
The carpet was blue. It oddly matched the couch. The walls were newly painted white; I knew this because I still smelled the fumes. The room also smelled of mildew. That would have to be fixed. I took in all nine hundred square feet of empty space, trying to figure out how I would decorate to make it feel more like home.
I noticed the built in bookshelf first. This would be where all my books would go. The one thing that helped me through anything I had experienced thus far. I lay down on the carpet before any of the furniture arrived. The fan turning round and round with such routine. I wondered if I would ever get used to being alone in this place. Would this space ever feel like home? Like the home my parents had built for me. The home I had just left.
I walked out on the balcony and listened to the soothing water running at the pool below. I took in every sound I heard. These were the sounds I was going to have to live with for eight months. The water running below, the people outside playing football, the fire drills, the person underneath me playing video games at two in the morning; all these sounds I had to get used to in my new home.
I walked back inside, taking in the kitchen. Popsicles still in the freezer from the last person. Decent amount of cabinet space, since it was just me living there it would be plenty. The bathroom was small. The door almost hit the toilet when it opened. The shower and the vanity were only far enough apart to fit in a toilet and a cabinet. This would take some getting used to.
My bedroom was huge. I could fit about three of my bathrooms inside of it. I would have plenty of room for all my furniture and for whatever else I wanted to do with it. The closet even held all of my clothes. Walking back out of my room, I realized the floor made quite a bit noise. It creaked underneath my feet. The sound made me cringe.
Once it was full of all my furniture, I was left alone. Alone was a concept I did not know much about at that point in my life. Alone was definitely something out of the ordinary for me. I laid there thinking, now what? Now what do I do with all this time on my hands? This was my new home, I would have to make it mine. Fill it with all the things that make a place feel like home. At least the best I knew how.
First thing…pictures. I definitely had plenty of those. I pulled out memories of the past, some I wanted to revisit, some I did not. I placed the smiling faces all over the apartment. So everywhere I looked someone that cared about me was looking at me smiling. With all those good memories came the bad ones as well. The pictures of the boyfriend I had just left. The friends I no longer kept in contact with. The relatives I had started to forget. It was just me. I was on my own.
I felt like the world was somewhere else now. The nine hundred square feet of space was somehow separated from everything else that was going on. Surely no one would understand anything about me now. I had left everything behind. This place that smelled of mildew, was never the temperature I wanted it to be, and would swallow me whole. This was my home.
My life would never be the same after that place. Loneliness became a part of my everyday existence. I didn't want to go home at night because I was reminded how alone I really was. The boyfriend that I had left started to creep back into my thoughts which made the evenings much harder to deal with. So I did something else to keep myself from thinking of him.
Soon my evenings consisted of leaving my home and going to drink with strangers. I had become such a lush, coming home to my empty apartment no longer pained me. Alcohol was the remedy for my loneliness. I would be so hung-over the next day that the soothing water below would be annoying to my pounding head. The people playing football below would wake me up too early. The guy playing video games was now just a soundtrack to passing out.
Halfway through my eight months, I realized this was not who I was, so I got a puppy. Another life to come home to in the afternoon, someone I could not give up on. My apartment was then transformed. We were a team now. This was the home I would be proud of.
I got over the boyfriend I left, and I made new friends. This nine hundred square foot space suddenly became a home for me and my puppy. It was my solitude when I felt like the world was crushing me from all around. The large bedroom was my place of rest, relaxation, and contemplation, and I shared it now with my puppy. The kitchen was a place where my friends gathered to have dinner. The large living room was where I would lay and watch television or play with my puppy. The balcony was where I would sit, smoke cigarettes and write. I would write into the early morning, learning about myself with every word that formed on the paper. The bathroom was still small though.
Those eight months went too quickly. That space, that place I made my home, changed my life. I changed my major from chemistry to arts and performance, to pursue creative writing, which had become my passion. I changed my outlook on what defines me as a person. I became more independent. Alone in the nine hundred square foot space that was 1233.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"So this is the New Year, and I don't feel any different..."

Right before New Year's I remembered
putting all my old Death Cab songs on the
computer but realized they hadn't made
it to my ancient iPod.
So in the spirit of the holiday I put all of
the songs that made me "feel" things in
years past. First and foremost "The New Year".
I had no idea what to expect for 2010,
because to be honest, I loved 2009.
I loved the whole decade actually.
Sure there were dark times, but overall
it was absolutely fantastic.
So many memories just in 2009 that
spring to my mind already...

the Killers concert with Meg.
the 13-hour drives to and from Denver.
the Valentine's Day trip to Austin
with Mike and Meg and the amazing time
we had with Drew and Steve.
my birthday, it was the best one so far.
moving into the new place.
feeling lovely at certain times with a certain
person through the months on June
through October.
kickball games, or the raining out of most
of them.
Barley house and our infamous "games nights".
Halloween and being a blond for the first time.
Christmas Eve and Christmas day spent with
my parents, getting to know them all over again.

Certain memories flash through my mind that
I wish I could re-live all over again.
Ones that I wish I could have back just so I would
pay more attention and enjoy them more.
One specific was a last kiss. I want that one back
the most.
Simply because I didn't know it would be the last.
I flippantly shrugged it off like there would be more.
I wish I would have taken more time in that moment.
In that one day actually.

Which brings me to my resolutions...
I don't really like resolutions, because they
usually just bring a load of disappointment at the
end of the next year, but I have thought a lot
about the things that scare me.
The list is long. Quite long.
Some are typical, while others are very strange.
Not many people understand my fear of crickets.
But most importantly, I live in fear.
I have lived this way for awhile, sometime in
the last decade this started happening.
I am scared to death to trust people with
my feelings, because I am afraid they will either
let me down or hurt me.
So I hold tight to them, instead of living my life.
I constantly worry about how things are perceived,
instead of enjoying the sweet moments.

So this year, I am going to stop living in fear.
I will hopefully meet someone that I can trust
to give my heart to, and show him my true feelings.
I am going to stop being afraid of not being perfect.
I am going to stop being afraid of looking weak.
And maybe somewhere in there, I will get over my
fear of crickets too.

So this time around, I won't regret not living every
second of every kiss, even if it is the last.

Love to all in 2010.

C

Friday, December 25, 2009

"And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva... "

I went to my parents' house last night,
knowing I probably wouldn't sleep very
well and probably would be up far longer
than anyone else in the house.
I was happily surprised that my mom
stayed in the guest room with me
(since there are two beds in there and
because my dad has sick germs floating
around him) and we stayed up and talked
until 2 this morning.

One thing I asked my mother was if she
thought it was weird that I hadn't married
yet, or that I was nowhere close.
My mother being the most honest person
I know, told me "yes, at times".
She said she isn't worried about it, but
that sometimes she wonders as she
sees so many of her friends' children
getting married and having their
own children.

I wonder the same thing myself.

It seems that as people get older the
natural thing is to find someone that
you can spend your life with.
To start a new life of your own since
your parents no longer are your
companions.
Personally, I haven't really had the
drive to do any of that until recently.
I am not sure why I was so turned
off to the idea for so long, but
suddenly a switch went off and I
have a longing for someone else in
my life to have as a companion.

I have never believed that "love" is
a magic word or even a magic emotion.
I think just like every other emotion
it can come and go with the passing day,
passing hour or even passing minute.
I also believe "love" is not what keeps
people together.
I know the few people in this world that
know me enough to love me, would not
love me every minute of the day.
I know I can be difficult at times to even
put up with, let alone love.
I think people mistake that so many times.
They expect this grandiose "feeling" to stay
with them for years and years.
It just isn't a logical way of living.

I know I am picky. I know I am guarded.
I take my time. I don't think there is a
damn thing wrong with that.
I know my mom wants the best for me
and that she wouldn't want me to rush
into anything just because I felt pressure.

So with the new year approaching, I am
going to be doing things a little different
this year.
Not as many bars. Not as many bands.
Try to find a quality man. One that
thinks the same way I do about that
crazy thing people call "love".

all my love to all...

C

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The domino effect

As I sit over my Cheerios at work,
I remember something my friend
told me the other day.
She told me that someone I knew
was broken.
After she said that I have constantly
been thinking of what makes a
broken person and if that person is
ever fixable.

I also wonder if this problem has a
domino effect with relationships
they are involved in after the fact.
They can't love so they in turn
hurt someone else which makes
that person broken also.
The process just goes on and on
until the whole world are incapable
of loving another person other
than the one that hurt them.

At what point do you become
broken?

Personally, I think I should be at
that point by now, with all the
failed attempts at finding someone
that makes me truly happy.
But for whatever reason, I have a
feeling, whenever another person
comes around that I "spark" with,
I will forget all about the past
failures.

I have seen this numerous times.
My family members have experienced
it even.
But everyone I seem to know that
is "broken" ended up with someone
that he/she could be with.
So at what point are they fixed?
Will they ever be fixed?
Will they ever love again?

I think so. I am just not sure what
type of person it takes to break
the domino effect.
To make them realize that everyone
is scared shitless to put themselves
out there, and possibly just to be hurt...
once again.
Maybe it just takes feeling so strongly
for someone for the risk to be taken.

I realized after all this was brought to
my attention that the broken ones
were the type of men that I was
attracted to, or the ones attracted to me.
It is a dead end road from the very
beginning.
Maybe it's the challenge of it all,
I don't really know (it must be
a part of subconscious that I
haven't tapped into yet).
Whatever the reason, it needs to
stop. The last one was enough.
I need an emotionally available
man, not one that can't get over
getting hurt in the past.
Lord knows I have gotten over it.
I still put myself out there, but
hey, maybe the feelings these
people have had for me just
aren't strong enough to get them
over the scared part. It isn't
worth it to them.

I am stopping the domino effect
right here. I will not fall over
with the rest.

Love to all...
because I still believe.

C

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Ramble on

Well as luck would have it, I have a cold.
My head is full of fuzz and I can't breath
through my nose, or hear out of my ears.
I always seem to get sick when there is
something important lingering.
Friday is a step in a new direction for me,
hopefully.

I blame my lovely roommate for this
illness, because no matter how many
times I would "remind" her, she
refused to use my anti-viral Kleenex.
She went to the doc-in-the-box and
they gave her amoxicillin (dumb)
and sent her on her way.
This antibiotic of course is not helpful
for a common cold or even a severe
upper respiratory infection.
Sometimes I just want to slap these
people and tell them their years
of school taught them nothing.

Not much has happened with the
men in my life, they fade in and out
with each passing day, which draws
me to depend on them from less
to not at all.

I wish I had some great news to
bring up but hopefully next week
I will be busting at the seams with
good news, not today though.

I don't even really know what to
write since my head feels detached
from my body completely.

Stay well and warm...

love to all.
C

Friday, December 4, 2009

The past and the present

I have been dreading this entry.
It has crossed my mind at least 1oo times
since it happened and I know the only way
for me to make light of it, is to write.
To see it staring at me in my face.
It is much harder to hide from when it is
standing right in front of me, standing on
my toes, nose-to-nose.

After my last post, I had many hesitations,
but I finally decided to see the person who
had suddenly showed interest in being in
my life again, after so long of not.
"I should be nervous", I kept telling myself
as I was driving in his direction. I wasn't.
Anyone who knows me, knows I get nervous
about EVERYTHING. Anything and everything.
I took me awhile to warm up to the idea
that I was bringing two worlds together.
My past and my present.
I took him where I felt comfortable and
had planned to play a game with friends.
We quickly found ourselves talking only
to each other and not even paying
attention to the people playing the game.

We talked about a lot of different things.
I was racking my brain for questions to
ask him. I asked what I could then
found myself with nothing more.
I mean, what do you say to someone
you used to know so well and has
turned into this different person,
and all in good ways.
We talked about kids and families.
We talked about plans.
We talked about girlfriends/and the
lack of my boyfriends.

Then he hit me with something I
wasn't ready for.
I had been silent for awhile, trying
to think of things to talk about,
when he said, "you know, Caroline,
you aren't really the same person
you used to be."
I felt my breath leave my lungs
and struggled to get any air back
in them.
I was afraid he would say this.
"In a good way or bad way?"
finally I managed to say.
He said, "both".
Not in a mean way, but in a
completely honest way that I was
hoping he would never notice.
Mainly because I know who I am
now is not what I used to be,
mostly because I have become
very callused to the world and to
the things that upset me.
I would get a really huge dose of
this later in the night.

I was suddenly afraid that I was
no longer the soft, loving person
he remembered me as.
I thought of things he could be
thinking that I now resembled.
An empty shell of a person, one that
no longer has feeling in my face.
Maybe just a guarded person, that no
longer lets anyone in.
So I did what any person would do,
I quickly changed the subject.

The rest of the evening went more
smoothly after that point.
I talked freely about things in our
past. I talked about the things I
had recently gone through.
But then once again he said something
I wasn't expecting and something
I thought I wanted to talk to people
about until it actually happened.
He said he thought I was still wanted
the last guy I had liked.
My simple response was, "no, why would
I want someone who doesn't want me?"
At the time I said it, I wanted to take it
back, and say what I had said for weeks
now, that everything was fine.

It took a few hours for those words to
really sink in, and when they did, I
felt exactly what I thought I would.
I was glad I finally felt something
though, I thought there was no
way I would get over someone that
quickly and effortlessly.

I am glad to have my friend back in my life.
Glad to have someone who holds
so much of my past, but at the same
time scared to death of the ways he
could hurt me all over again.
I know he is different but there is
a large part of me that can't get
over things that easily.
We shall see, I suppose.

Love to all.

C

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Surprises in unexpected places

Oh man, what a weird 24 hours I have had.
Yesterday I left my house once for groceries,
food for the dog and movies.
I had my pajamas on from the time I got out
of bed until this morning. I watched 3 movies.
I had a severe case of multiple personality
disorder in regard to my emotions.
One minute I would feel lonely, the next
angry and the following minute content.
I have no idea why this was happening,
I would get over each emotion quickly
and it would be on to the next one.

The loneliness lasted throughout the day.
It strung itself through all the other emotions
and would peak its ugly face all too commonly.
By midnight last night, I had enough.
I finally had to call someone just to have
someone talk me through it, maybe make
me laugh and forget about it.
As I tried to go through my strong support
system, I found myself calling the one
person that I knew had to be going through
something similar. The one person who had
earlier in the day said a prayer for me without
asking questions or expecting praise.
I called my first love.
The person who broke me entirely.
But also the person who has made such a huge
turn-around in his life, that even I (being the
cynical person I am) can't believe it.

We haven't kept in very good contact over
the past 2 years, mostly by my decision.
Just a phone call here and there to make
sure we were still alive and where we were.
Recently, we have been talking more often.
I have realized he is now the person who
I knew he could always be.

So I called last night, waking him of course,
but he still answered and talked to me for
almost an hour. When he had asked how
my day was, I had simply said fine at first
then as the conversation progressed I
ended up telling him I was lonely and
didn't know how to make it go away.
He said he understood how I felt.
As we continued to talk he finally told
me that there was something he had
been wanting to tell me for awhile but
he didn't know how I would
react when he told it to me.
Then he dropped the biggest shock of
my year: he told me loved me...
I am not sure if he told me that as a
friend or as something more.
My response after a moment of silence
was simply, "why?"

I have always considered myself an
unlovable person. Someone no one
could really love, no matter what my
feelings were towards the other person.
I even wrote a monologue to myself
about this specific thing, giving
explanations and examples of why
this was true for me.
I never felt this way because I didn't
want to be loved, but because since I
was 19 years old, no one has.

So one can only imagine the impact
these few words meant to me.
His reasoning for saying them or the
intent he has tacked on them doesn't
matter, he had just proved my theory,
the one I that followed me everywhere,
wrong.

I woke up this morning still sad about
spending my first holiday completely
alone, but those words still ringing in
my head; not to get some kind of romantic
hopes up, but just knowing someone could.
This person knows me very well. We dated
years ago and were friends up
until about 2 years ago, close friends at that.
He knows what I look like without make-up.
He has seen every phase of my hair.
I have seen/met/and gave advice about his
many girlfriends.

Not many people I am close to approve of
our contact, merely because they know what
kind of relationship we had before.
But like I told him, no one understood that I
always saw him for the person I knew that
was hidden somewhere inside.
I had given up on ever seeing that person,
which is why we lost contact.

So all this for the fact that I had a blessing
last night, hidden somewhere that I never
expected it.
Those are the moments in life that I love.
The surprises that I never saw coming.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.
I am thankful for everyone that is in
my life. You are what keeps me going,
smiling, dreaming, and believing in good.

Love and thankfulness to all...
C